South Drive Memories, and Toronto Dreams: A Thank You Letter to Mom

Introduction: Our Little World

One thing I get frequently asked about when living only with my mom is, "Is your life like Gilmore Girls?" My response is always, "No, it's even better." Moving into our home on South Drive was a significant accomplishment. We had the dream pool, the perfect neighbourhood, and an uplifting house. However, I felt a father figure was missing. This wasn't just a passing thought but a belief ingrained by society that made me think I needed to grow up in a cookie-cutter family to have the "perfect life." But what exactly is the "perfect life?" For me, it's my chaotic home full of love, with us girls and our three dogs. We used to joke that we felt more like university roommates than anything else. It may not seem ideal, but it is my perfect life. Without my upbringing, I wouldn't have achieved this level of independence and strength at my age. Thank you, Mom, for that.

Daily Routines and Shared Laughter

As we've been packing away our memories from South Drive, we've been recounting the simple joys of everyday life and the routines that have become our lives. Our home was filled with laughter that echoed through the walls, creating a joyful environment. So, let me share some of the joys that built our home.

My mornings always began with the distinctive sound of my mom's heels clacking on our creaky floor, accompanied by the noise of her gathering what felt like a hundred products to complete her morning routine. If you know my mom, you'd understand I'm not exaggerating. The so-called "best part" was when the blow dryer roared to life. (Note: If you don't know me, this is a very sarcastic tone. Trust me, it was far from the best part.) There was this one time, maybe more than once when I thought I could squeeze in one more blissful hour of sleep before school. My mom ruined that idea when she decided to test her culinary skills in the morning, inevitably setting the smoke alarm off. There might've been a few occasions where I stormed downstairs and whacked the alarm off the ceiling. However, my mom consistently emphasized that it was perfectly fine to express my feelings, a lesson I'm still trying to master today. As she left for work, the sound echoed throughout the house, whether it was her shouting from the stairs or honking because, once again, she had left her earrings behind or forgotten to turn her straightener off.

The hours went by, and I headed home. I had to learn from a very young age how to take care of myself after school. On my good days, I would even have dinner ready. It wasn't usually anything fancy, mostly just pasta, but I have my mom to thank for at least teaching me how to boil water. We usually ended our night enjoying the guilty pleasure of watching “The Bachelor” or horror/thriller films.

Lastly, the most chaotic thing in our daily routine, which might be my favourite, was sharing our bathroom. Try to picture two high-maintenance girls sharing a bathroom not built for a woman, meaning minimal storage for all our supplies and room to move around. One of us would have to stand at the door and wait our turn like siblings. Sometimes, it led to intense battles, but always, my favourite and funniest memories stemmed from this part of our everyday routine.

From Dreams to Reality

Some of my favourite things about home revolve around the excitement we feel when discussing our fantasies of exploring new places and pursuing dream occupations. My mom has always dreamt of being a flight attendant to this day. Another valuable lesson from Mom is that we don't have to grow old. We can continually evolve with new ideas and passions. As a full-time educator who raised me independently, she continued to learn, pursuing her master's in psychology during the COVID years. Even now, after her current career, she hopes for her "next" adventure.

Our hopes and dreams consistently transform into realities. The numerous unforgettable trips make knowing where to begin when sharing our memories challenging. My mom always ensured I felt loved, balancing her demanding career. These trips were moments to focus on each other, creating cherished memories I still hold close to.

To provide some background, I was a cast member at Walt Disney World, part of the Disney College Program. However, my love for Disney began long before that. It all started with a trip with my mom and Noni, who was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer. Leaving our Fort Myers condo for a brief journey to Walt Disney World created long-lasting memories. My therapist once asked me about my most significant memories, and I immediately recalled that trip to Walt Disney World. Magic was made, allowing us to escape the harsh reality of Noni's illness for just a moment. My mom and I returned to Walt Disney World when she surprised me on my 10th birthday with a Mickey balloon box. It touched my heart when I saw the castle again five years later. I felt Noni's presence. She has been with me on every Disney trip since. As an adult, I look back with gratitude for those moments when my mom ensured my happiness, even during difficult times. She always made sure I learned to be there for my loved ones, no matter what. That's why I cherish my Disney trips and my role as a cast member. I get to give other families magical moments. While we did explore other countries (not just the EPCOT World Showcase), my fondest memories were with her at Walt Disney World. Trips to Walt Disney World were always my time with Mom, just being in the present moment, making each other happy.

Another memory I will cherish from South Drive was our Christmases together. Santa indeed sent me the best mom to make it memorable each year. Despite her busy schedule, she organized a Christmas party with all my friends every year, creating core memories that my friends and I still discuss. My mom and I love reminiscing about my favourite gifts "Santa" brought. Trust me when I say these gifts required several elves to assemble, but only one worked at our house.

A lighthearted memory of mine involves "Elf on the Shelf." While my friends' elves had fun hiding spots, mine, Tac, usually stayed in the same spot or moved up a shelf or two. One day, after expressing my envy to my mom, Tac surprised me with red lipstick on my mirror. We still laugh about that memory today, and I never complained again.

Even though I may not express it well enough to you, I can't convey enough gratitude for everything you've done and continue to do. I have big shoes to fill with Moose!

Moments of Milestones

In most family homes, milestones are celebrated, from small things like marking our height on the wall to significant events such as milestone birthdays. One such birthday was my Sweet Sixteenth during the COVID lockdown. My mom ensured that my birthdays were never dull. As my birthday fell right after the start of the lockdown, we were uncertain about its duration. Little did I know, while hiding away in my room, absorbed in my fourth lockdown show, that my mom was planning a Sweet Sixteen like no other.

When I woke up that morning and opened my curtains, something shocked me from outside my window. A 7-foot bulldog stood on my front lawn, holding a sign to wish me a happy birthday. Even though I thought the bulldog was enough, my mom didn't stop there. She organized a "birthday walk" in our neighbourhood Facebook group, requesting kind neighbours to leave signs on their windows wishing me a happy birthday. The walk was three hours filled with celebration, laughter, and the happiness of people interacting with me from their doorsteps. This memory reminded me of something else my mom taught me: always making the most of anything. She made my Sweet Sixteen happen in a way that no one thought possible then.

Our home holds many memorable moments, including my graduation, bringing home our rescue dogs, my mom driving me to the airport for my first service trip by myself at 13, and taking photos in front of our house in the yellow prom dress I had always dreamed about. Dreams always came true on South Drive. One of the most memorable dreams that turned into a significant milestone was during university acceptance season. I remember sitting on the couch, watching “The Bachelor” together, when I received an email from the University of Toronto asking me to check my application portal. It seemed too soon for an acceptance, and I prepared myself for sad tears, but to my surprise, happy tears fell from my face. This moment was special for us because we had been through so much together, and despite the challenges, we persevered.

Without my mom and her constant support, I wouldn't be sure who I am today. She ensured I knew my capabilities and that I needed no one else to rely on. My mom didn't follow the norm, like helping me look at school programs, visiting schools, or sitting at the table at night to complete assignments. Instead, she taught me that I was capable of doing these things on my own, although I knew she was still with me along the way, cheering for me as she watched from a distance where I was allowed to spread my wings. She didn't feel the need to watch over me because she believed in me, something I struggled with throughout my life. Regardless of the milestone, good or bad, my mom has always been a constant. She has just been there to celebrate my successes and be a shoulder to cry on during the complex parts.

These Walls Can Talk

The walls of South Drive have witnessed it all: our laughter, tears, and the journey of growth. Over ten years, this physical space has transformed into a capsule of cherished memories. For those who grew up with me, our home, fondly known as the "zen" house, held a special place in many hearts. As the only one among my friends to live in a house with just my mom and no siblings, they appreciated having a peaceful retreat. 

Even though our house seemed” “zen,” our walls saw the chaos of our mornings as we tried to navigate around each other in the bathroom to get ready. Sometimes, I'd yell at my mom on the phone without saying “good morning” because she wore my new shoes when I planned to wear them. 

Our kitchen was only known for its pleasant aromas if it involved bringing home takeout. On days when one of us had a rough time, we didn’t ask questions; we'd simply sit together, finding peace in our laughter from one of our comfort movies, like "Sex and the City." It's funny how, watching those shows, I sometimes see glimpses of myself. One of my favourite films to grow up with was “Legally Blonde.” My mom knew the type of daughter she wanted, and she succeeded! I am the little Carrie Bradshaw/ Elle Woods of her dreams.

Embracing our Chaos

Some of my favourite stories involve catastrophic endings. During our first year in our house, I loved the fact that we had a real fireplace. It seemed like something a successful family would have. My mom asked herself, "Why can't I make a fire?" I can give her a few reasons. We enjoyed a cozy fire, but when it was time to extinguish it, Mom thought placing the blocks wrapped in newspaper into a cardboard box on the wooden deck would be a good idea. Unfortunately, thanks to the blaring fire alarms, our neighbours had a loud wake-up in the wee hours of the morning. The next day, I urged Mom to get us fire ladders: a gentle reminder of who the real mom is in the family. Mom, if you're reading this, I hope you still have those ladders, especially with me not around to save you 24/7.

Another amusing memory is when Mom came home to find our hot tub not working after a late evening at her day job. True to her style of not asking for help, she may have created a bit of drama, prompting our neighbour to hop over the fence and offer assistance. The Abbey girls like to make our presence known, that's for sure. Stories like these, filled with craziness, are among my favourites.

Then there's the time I woke up to find Mom driving the CAA truck in our driveway. There was never a dull moment with the two of us. I played the role of the responsible mom or “bad cop” while she played “good cop.” Yet, we balanced each other, filling the voids in each other's hearts. 

Packing Up for our Next Adventure

Packing up for our next adventure involves the emotional process of consolidating a lifetime of memories into boxes and meticulously sorting through the tangible remnants of our shared history on South Drive. Alongside all our clothes and shoes, my mom mentioned she filled two boxes with photos of me. That's the joy of being an only child: two full bins of embarrassing pictures of yourself over Christmas. Every artwork I created holds a special place for my mom. No piece signed by “Emily” has made its way into the garbage. I don't know if she's holding onto them for sentimental reasons or perhaps planning to sell them. She has preserved every book I've written since kindergarten. Her unwavering belief in my creativity has paved the way for me to follow my dreams and express my thoughts with you. I am excited to see where this blog will take me in my goal of working in the creative industries.

Hard Goodbyes

As my mom and I say goodbye to the familiarity of the neighbourhood and the city I called home for 18 years, we embark on our separate paths, embracing the necessary risks for the upcoming chapters of our lives. The weight of this change sank in when I said goodbye to South Drive a few weeks ago. I could feel the positive energy the home held, providing a sense of safety during the most challenging times of my life, so I found it hard to let go. The realization struck that I was leaving behind my childhood home and the town that shaped my early years. However, now that I have started creating my life here in Toronto with Moose, that fear of feeling unsafe isn’t in my mind.

We've chosen to carry 115 memories, our house number, to remember the memories made for the past decade. These memories include dear friends and family who have left their imprints on our home in both subtle and profound ways. I am excited to create new memories with old and new loved ones in Fort Erie and Toronto!

Conclusion

In the final chapter of this journey at South Drive, we have parted ways into new cities. The bond Mom and I created over years of shared experiences at South Drive remains cherished forever. This piece is not just a  reminder of our adventures but a heartfelt tribute to the love, laughter, and invaluable lessons learned while navigating life as an only child with a single mom.

A pivotal moment comes to mind in this transformative time of our lives. It was a moment when my uncertain yet determined mom faced a difficult decision to move into her own home with me. Our gazes met in the uncertainty of her decision, and she knew what to do for us. It was about creating a safe house where we could continue to grow our wings, and indeed, we did. We've witnessed each other's battles and growth, and I take immense pride in how far we've come. While we may not reside under the same roof anymore, we will forever be in each other's homes. My mom has provided me with the security to be comfortable in my skin and has continually encouraged me to spread my wings. Her inspiration for life has empowered me to write this blog, and Mom, I hope you know how successful you are.

As we say goodbye to South Drive, the place that served as our safe haven, I am not only grateful for the physical space but, more importantly, for Mom's guidance in my growth. You could call her the Lorelai to my Rory, as a “Gilmore Girls” fan would say. While South Drive holds our memories, it was my single mom who equipped me with the tools to navigate life's complexities. As we embark on new chapters in separate cities, the echoes of laughter, the warmth of love, and the strength of the lessons learned will forever resonate within us, reminding us of our shared history at South Drive. So, I will end with the simple words of thank you, South Drive, for being our house, but thank you, Mom, for being my home.